Hey Love Monkies, welcome to my guest post. I go by the name of Alice X, owner, writer and publisher of Guys Boys & Men, a dating and relationship blog all about… well the title says it all.
Image source by gilmorec
The music is blaring, the alcohol is flowing and there’s a dance floor chock full of young women, all out to have a good time. Nightclubs sound like the perfect place to meet women, right? Perhaps not. If you’re a man only interested in a one night stand this may be the place to look, but even then it will be a challenge. If you’re a man hoping to bump into a future girlfriend, well that’s an even bigger challenge!
If you are a single guy looking to meet a women, a club is not necessarily the best place to look. You may be thinking that you’ve had a pretty good success rate meeting women in clubs, you may even be thinking, how the hell do i know? I know because i’m a young women who, on occasion, likes to enjoy a good night out with friends. I also know that nightclubs are frequented by, what i like to call, The Prowlers.
The Prowlers are the type of guys who go to nightclubs for one reason, to pick up women. Us women know this, we know that if we reject The Prowler he will soon move onto the next girl and the next, until he scores. He has no interest in getting to know us, he is interested in one thing only.
Now you might not be a Prowler, you might be a decent guy, interesting and caring even. But how can a women tell the difference in the nightclub environment? She can’t. The music is often too loud to allow for a proper conversation to start; there’s a good chance that one, or both parties will be a little inebriated which doesn’t give off the best impression, so for all she knows you’re just another Prowler to be avoided.
You might think offering to buy a woman a drink is a good ice breaker. It is, in a quieter, more relaxed setting, but in a busy club it’s not always the best thing to do. Most women won’t accept drinks from strangers for safety reasons and others sometimes use this generosity as a way of saving money on a night out and have no real interest in getting to know you further.
So, what should you do if you spot a women you like in a club? My advice is not to come across too full on. No cheesy chat up lines, just be cool! A good way to approach a women is to introduce yourself and ask if you can get her number, if you’re successful then leave her with her friends to enjoy the rest of the night. This way you can call her when you are both sober and arrange a date to meet up. This approach will let her know that you’re not just another Prowler, but someone who genuinely wants to get to know her.
The best advice i can give you is not to look for love in a club. If you happen to find it, that’s great and you are very lucky, but it’s better to look in other places. Develop a hobby, join a club, gym’s can be great places to strike up a conversation. This way you will be meeting women who share a common interest with you already.
Thanks for having me over!
Loved having you visit the jungle. =)
I’d also like to add that you should NEVER, ever, just come up and start grinding your hard on against her! This is never sexy and never gets you where you want to go. It is creepy and disturbing.
I totally agree with you, Alice, that you go to clubs for a good time but not for good guys. You can’t make conversation, can’t really do more than get a number here or there but you always know those men won’t call…they are only interested in you going home with them that night.
Great post.
Yea some guys are like cavemen and somehow think you want to feel their bonified stranger all over you. Damn men! LOL
I have to admit that any guy who can walk up to a girl he doesn’t know and flirt with her has guts, because it can be nervewracking to just strike up a conversation with someone. On the other hand, you’re totally right in that there’s a right way and a wrong way to approach someone. Guys who come on too strong automatically make me think “NO”.
@Jewels Yep, you know full well by my guest post on DATERVIEW that grinding upon another women is not the way to go!
@Neurotic Workaholic Yes i agree that it does take guts and i feel bad for the genuine guys out there who get tarred with the same brush as The Prowlers.
Truly hard to find advised people within this issue, nevertheless, you seem like you no doubt know what you are preaching about! Thanks