Love Monkies: Welcome Debbie Lamedman to the Love Monkey Jungle!
There are people out there who are irresistible. It’s true. I’ve met some of them. And if you happen to meet just such a person through a dating service, and the two of you actually hit it off, it can be extremely difficult to focus and concentrate on anything else. The best tip regarding dating services and Internet dating is to keep you expectations low and your options open. Because even though you think you’ve scored by meeting this charismatic creature, they might just rock your world in more ways than one, and not necessarily for the good.
If you’re thinking about your new partner day and night, and trying to figure out ways to spend time with them 24/7, you’re in big trouble. The worst thing that can happen in a relationship is when one person relinquishes their power and hands it over to the other. But it happens all the time. If you are the person receiving all this undivided attention, it’s quite thrilling and you probably don’t want it to stop. If you’re the one giving all the attention, you’re setting yourself up for a major fall.
Sometimes feeling this giddy over another person is akin to addiction. You can’t seem to get enough of him or her, and you always want more. More of their time, more of their attention, more of their affection. It’s a slippery slope. If you see this happening, you need to stop, take a breath, and go call a friend who will give you an objective perspective on the situation. If you lose yourself completely in someone else, and rely upon that other person for your happiness, you are losing all your power. And inevitably, you will experience major heartbreak when the relationship comes crashing down around you.
And crashing down it will come. Don’t fool yourself. A relationship is between two people who have mutual trust, love and respect for one another. If you have put your partner high up on a pedestal and worship the ground he or she walks on, it’s a sure thing they will fall from their high platform. No one is perfect and it doesn’t matter how compelling, magnetic and alluring this person is, never forget he or she is a human being. And all human beings have their flaws.
There is no way the relationship will be able to sustain itself if you give all your power away to your partner. And when the time comes that your partner decides to leave, you will feel as though you have lost everything, including yourself, when you gave of yourself so freely. When the relationship does not have balance it will wobble, tumble, fall over and ultimately fail.
Take charge of your own life. Be happy and grateful that you met someone so special, but always put yourself first. You had needs, desires, interests and wants long before you met this person. He or she did not suddenly enter your life and change you as a person. Be the person your partner fell in love with when you first met and don’t throw away the best part of you simply because your charming new partner seems too good to be true.
About Guest Blogger
Debbie Lamedman is a dating services expert who has discovered the ins and outs of having online relationships. Read more of her work at her site, Dating Services!